Extra Stuffings!
A few extra bits of barbarian wisdom not in Barbarians: A Handbook for Aspiring Savages
Barbarian Interest
Understanding the Supermarket (part 1)
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Yaks (But Were Afraid to Ask)
Barbarian How-To: Surviving an Art Museum
Barbarian How-To: How To File Your Taxes
10 Things that are Fun to Crush
Barbarian Studies
Map: The Barbarian Conquest of Rome, 400-500 CE
Barbarian Religion: The Floobers
Barbarian Religion: The Holy Barbarella version of the Sermon on the Mount
Barbarian Religion: The Holy Barbarella version of the Noah’s Three Sons story
Barbarian Arts and Sciences
Barbarian Poetry: To My Coy and Rancid Hag
Barbarian Poetry: Tho’ She Hearns the Goggy Rostum
Barbarian Movie Reviews
Werner Herzog’s Conan the Barbarian (2011)
Ironmaster (1983) [expanded from the book]
Kilma, Queen of the Amazons (1975)
Hundra (1983) [expanded from the book]
Colossus and the Headhunters (1963)
And don’t forget to check out the barbarian forum…
CONTENTS OF THE BOOK:
SCHOLARLY FOUNDATIONS
Understanding Barbarian Scholarship
What Is a Barbarian?
Major Barbarian Classifications
A Sampling of Barbarian Tribes
BARBARIAN BASICS
How to Dress Like a Barbarian
Getting Around
Combat: A How-To Guide
Know Your Villains!
BARBARIANS OBSERVED
A Modern Stone-Age Family
The Fate of Barbarian Children
The Swingin’ Skullbasher Wedding
Barbarians and Their Dogs
BARBARIAN CULTURE
Barbarian Mathematics
Barbarians and Philosophy
Barbarian Cuisine
Barbarian Music
Barbarian Humor
Barbarian Linguistics: A Lesson in Middle Stygian
Barbarian Religion
BARBARIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Portraits of Great Barbarians
Maps of Barbarian Conquests
The Legacy of Barbarian-Americans
Barbarian Science and Engineering
Other Great Barbarian Inventions
BARBARIANS AND MODERN LIFE
Career Opportunities for Barbarians
Barbarians and the City
Getting into the Barbarian Lifestyle
“B” Is for Barbarian, or How to Know You’re Watching a Barbarian Movie
How to Make a Barbarian Movie
The BAT (Barbarian Aptitude Test)
In addition to the treasury of barbarian-related humor, the following barbarian movies are reviewed and rotisseried in the book:
Amazons (1986)
Amazons in the Temple of Gold (a.k.a. Golden Temple Amazons) (1986)
Ator, the Fighting Eagle (1982)
Ator the Invincible (a.k.a. The Blade Master, a.k.a. Cave Dwellers) (1984)
Ator 3: The Hobgoblin (a.k.a. Quest for the Mighty Sword) (1990)
Barbara the Barbarian (1987)
Barbarians, the (a.k.a. The Barbarian Brothers) (1987)
The Barbarian Invasions (2003)
Barbarian Queen (1985)
Barbarian Queen 2: The Empress Strikes Back (1988)
Battle of the Amazons (1973)
The Beastmaster (1982)
Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991)
Beastmaster 3: The Eye of Braxus (1996)
Circle of Iron (a.k.a. The Silent Flute) (1978)
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
Conan the Destroyer (1984)
Conquest (1983)
Deathstalker (1983)
Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans (1987)
Deathstalker III (a.k.a. Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell) (1988)
Deathstalker IV: Match of Titans (1991)
Fire and Ice (1983)
Gor (1987)
Gunan, King of the Barbarians (a.k.a. The Invincible Barbarian) (1982)
Hawk the Slayer (1980)
Heavy Metal (1981)
Heavy Metal 2000 (2000)
Hundra (1983)
Ironmaster (1983)
Iron Warrior (a.k.a. Ator 3: Iron Warrior) (1986)
Kull the Conqueror (1997)
The Lustful Barbarian (a.k.a. The Long Swift Sword of Siegfried) (1971)
Masters of the Universe (1987)
The New Barbarians (1990)
The New Barbarians 2 (1990)
Red Sonja (1985)
The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent (1957)
She (1982)
Sorceress (1982)
Super Stooges vs. the Wonder Women (a.k.a. Amazons vs. Supermen) (1975)
The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)
Sword of the Barbarians (a.k.a. Barbarian Master) (1982)
Tales of an Ancient Empire (2010)
Tarkan and the Blood of the Vikings (1971)
Thor the Conqueror (1983)
The Throne of Fire (1983)
Time Barbarians (1990)
The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984)
Yor, the Hunter from the Future (1983)
